Loneliness and how to avoid it

Loneliness when travelling isn’t something that people consider very often but can be a very common and regular occurrence. Especially if your choosing to take the lifestyle of regular seasonal work. You can go from being surrounded by loads of people all day, everyday to not speaking to another soul for days whilst travelling. Feeling lonely is a very disorientating emotion and very often can hold you back form the adventures you had planned. It really poses a lot of doubts and what ifs. But always remember it is completely normal. Some people will struggle with this much more than others because learning to enjoy your own company is something that comes with maturity and experience, and once you’ve learnt to enjoy your own thoughts and feelings, it can be an incredibly liberating experience. For me personally, travelling by myself and indulging in my own company can be a blessing. Although I'd always refer to myself as a social butterfly who can talk for days – I have learnt to thoroughly enjoy my own company and really make the most out of my own thoughts. Here we will dive into how to deal with loneliness,  how to resolve it, and how to truly benefit from the experience of being lonely.

1)     Never contemplate those you’ve left behind.

I say this as if it's easy – its not. But when those dark worrying feelings on loneliness creep in the worse thing you can do to try and brighten that little mental corner is to wonder what everyone else Is doing. Whether its your family, your friends, the people you met on your last adventure, or the people you previously lived with. Although having these images can be relaxing and can brighten you up temporarily. The likelihood is they’ll only make you question in the long run whether you have made the right decision and think what if you could be having more fun somewhere else. And the likelihood is that they’re probably all experiencing the same thing or have at some point. The best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on pushing forward and trying to suck the best out of the situation you have. This theory is pretty much applicable to all situations travelling and working. It wont be very glamorous for most of the time, but the things you'll learn and experience I’m sure will be like no other.

2)     Having a routine

I know it really isn’t what you expect. You imagine it. You’re travelling and working in a new place. You’ve imagined you're going to have this entirely new sense of freedom then all of a sudden. You’re lonely and some girl from some really cool travel magazine is telling you to get a good routine. I’m just as disgusted because its just not what we expected but the truth is it makes it so much better. First of all we are naturally creatures of routine, the likelihood is that since the day you were born you’ve had a routine, whether it’s the time that you were put to bed, or the time you had to go to school. These are things that we have naturally been brought up with that instil comfort in ourselves. Having a routine allows us to take a step back from life and just focus on the tasks that are necessary here and now. It becomes less worrying and overwhelming which is exactly what you need to enjoy your new experience. Making sure you have at least three different tasks to complete within the day means you’re much more likely to get up and make the most of your day and get distracted from this lonely feeling. It also means your much more likely to bump into new people and make some friends!

3)     Be kind to yourself

I think a large portion of the time we dismiss our feelings and can generally get annoyed that we’re feeling sad or lonely when you're in such an incredible location with an incredible opportunity. Unfortunately this is life, its completely normal to feel lonely and sad and is something we should really embrace. Life is not all highs. It isn’t possible, if it was like this we would never know the difference between a high and a low so indulge in your sadness. Treat yourself. Go for a walk and a coffee, or go for a swim. Enjoy that piece of cake and glass of wine and just feel sorry for yourself. Its perfectly acceptable and something that should be done so much more often than we give ourselves time for.

4)     Entertainment

Just because you’re not in your usual environment doesn’t mean you no longer desire the frivolities of basic modern entertainment. Make sure you have plenty of things that aren't just people to entertain yourself. Reading, Netflix, art, writing. Whatever it is that allows you to put your mind to sleep and just enjoy something simple, make sure you bring it with you, you’ll always have downtime so make sure you can fill it. A lot of the work that can be done during seasonal work is manual labour, therefore you can loose a little bit of that vital brain stimulation which we don’t always release that we need. Therefore its important to continue to learn whether its from reading a new book or article, taking a course, or learning and instrument/language. These things can really help distract from loneliness and also connect you with others around you.

5)     My 5th and final recommendation is one that I preach. I will stand on any mountain and shout about it as much as possible because I think it's vital to life even if your not travelling or doing seasonal work. KEEP A JOURNAL!! Not only is it a brilliant way to keep a detailed recollection of your life whilst your adventuring, it’s a brilliant way to keep yourself company. Sometimes saying thoughts and ideas to a piece of paper because you have no ones else to turn to is just as effective, if not more, so I’d always recommend it.

Being lonely is completely normal and is apart of life. It comes and goes and is definitely something that everyone should embrace especially when trying something new. On my first seasonal job, I knew no one and had never had been to the place before. I spent the entire first two days by myself with the exception of my employers. Buy after that I meant an abundance of people and had the best time. So there is always hope.